


后悔

by zaochens



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23230321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaochens/pseuds/zaochens
Summary: Lucifer has some regrets that he can't afford to have.
Kudos: 31





	后悔

**Author's Note:**

> i was going to name this 'whisper is the lucifer" after shinee's lucifer but it's an angst drabble so it doesn't fit.  
> enjoy!
> 
> implied diavolo/lucifer bc lets be real... lucifer's the single mum of 6 kids who hooked up with the rich chaebol prince of hell

Sacrifices, he was used to those, used to being those things. Being the first to rebel against their Father, the first to fall, and the scapegoat for all that had happened in Heaven. And then being the one first to submit, to chain his fate to the Devildom, because if he wouldn’t, where would his brothers who had fallen alongside him go?

Lucifer did not regret any of the choices, the decisions that he had made. His Pride did not allow him to do so, to think of what-ifs, to think of what-could-bes. To think of how if he had decided to stay put, perhaps Lilith would be alive to this day. They might have been miserable up there, but she would have been alive, and that would have been good enough.

But he did not regret, because, after all that had happened, it would be disrespectful to her memory, and to their brothers who stayed by his side.

* * *

  
There were some things that he still missed, after all these years, decades, centuries. Sometimes, when he was at the edge of waking up, he thinks that perhaps that all that had happened was just a terrible dream, and that he would wake up surrounded by his brothers and sisters, graced by their Father’s warm love. Sometimes, when he tries something new, something sweet, that reminded him of his brothers and sisters, a tinge of despair would strike him momentarily, before fading away.

It would be a disrespect to his fallen brethren’s memory, but sometimes, Lucifer thinks, sometimes he still missed their Father’s warm embrace.

But he would never tell anyone about this, not his brothers, not the new human exchange student, not even Diavolo. For all that Diavolo had given him, giving them shelter, acceptance and a place to call home, it would only hurt him if he told him all these insignificant things that Lucifer still somehow cannot discard from his memory.

Sometimes, he thinks, he might still miss Michael, though annoying he may have been.

* * *

  
Lucifer misses the way his wings used to glow, just like the Sun in the human realm, just like the stars that grace the sky. He might not act as though, but he missed them for they were part of his Pride.

The most beautiful angel, the Morningstar, his wings were next to none, impeccable, perfect. He was glad that at least, Diavolo had an opportunity to see them for what they were in their highest glory. Before they had curled and darkened and became pitiful, though black and glossy.

“Hallelujah,” Diavolo had once quipped, though his eyes were sincere, and his fingers soft when he helped him straighten a few feathers near the centre of his wings.

For all the praise that Diavolo had heaped on him, and for all of those that he denied, he kept some of them in his heart, or what was left of it, and thinks that he would let these thoughts go when he was ready.


End file.
